NicP

In the next month I will become a grandfather for the first time, and this morning I realised I have no idea how to be one.

What are you supposed to say when you meet the little bundle? What are you supposed to DO? What are you supposed NOT to do? What are you supposed NOT to say? What will be the best way to be a grandfather for your granddaughter? Will she be OK? Will your daughter be OK?

It was then that The Blue Penguin newsletter landed in my email. It is Michael Katz’s e-newsletter on e-newsletters and this time he talks about great stories that make great newsletters. (Which, I know, has nothing to do with learning to be a grandfather)

It then dawned on me that I need not do pre-natal classes for grandfathers to learn how to be a grandfather. All I need to be able to do is to – one day – be able to tell the story of my granddaughter in such a way that people will WANT to listen to it. Great stories make great newsletters but great stories also make great memories, and great memories make great people.

The way I see it, I don’t have to say anything when I meet my granddaughter because we will understand each other without the need for words. Her command of language will in any case be a bit inadequate to discuss the weather with me.

I don’t have to do anything, just as I did not have to do anything when my children were born. I only need to be there for her to reach me when she needs me. Just be there. Always be there.

I don’t have to refrain from doing anything because the mistakes I make, I will make just as I have made many during my life so far. What I know now would have made me a better father for my children had I known it twenty-five odd years ago and I’ll probably only really know how to be a grandfather when my granddaughter doesn’t need me any more.

I don’t have to worry about what NOT to say. I will say the right things and I will say the wrong things and my granddaughter will learn that her grandfather is not perfect, although he never stops trying.

I don’t have to worry about how to be a grandfather for my granddaughter because if she is anything like her mother and her grandmother, she will tell me!

I don’t have to worry whether she will be OK because whatever she is, she will be my granddaughter. No matter what she is, what she becomes or what she does, she will be my granddaughter. Whatever I receive I shall accept and I shall enjoy.

I don’t have to worry whether my daughter will be OK because whatever happens, the birth of her daughter is what my child wants. And what she wants, I want.

At the farmer’s market this morning, I came across the doll you see in the picture above. So I bought it.

I may not know how to be a grandfather, but that is not going to stop me from trying!

And one day I will hopefully be able to tell the story of my granddaughter’s birth in such a way that people will want to listen to it. Tell it in such a way that my granddaughter will know how very special her coming to us, was.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 28th, 2008 @ 00:01 on the category Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.