I go for unemployment insurance (Day 1)
It started the week after I was laid off when I visited the local UIF office. At the door there were three security guards, and I had to write the date, my name, ID, cell number and time entered, on a form that was nothing more than a photocopy, bound together with nineteen other copies. I am prepared to bet my Saturday afternoon beer that they actually do nothing with those forms.
Then I was shown into a big banking hall with a million chairs and a very long counter divided into billions of pigeon holes (or so it seemed).
Thorn in my foot 1: I had no idea which pigeon hole was booked for me and so did all the other people who entered with me. So we just sat down on the chairs nearest to the pigeon holes.
Thorn in my foot 2: After about 20 minutes, a lady in what appeared to be pigeon hole 2, called me. Not like civilised on a public address system, no, like in “Hey, you, come here” and she waved her hand like she was overheating - inviting me into what could have been her bosom, were it not hidden behind the counter.
Thorn in my foot 3: “You cannot”, Hidden Bosom accused, “just go and sit there. You must come to me first”. “How should I know if nobody tells us where to go and what to do?” I politely enquired. Hidden Bosom used the standard government reaction if they don’t know the answer - complete silence.
She gave me a hand full of forms and told me to complete it and bring it back to her for inspection. I think she thought because I was jobless, I also could not complete a form. Or maybe she just has to earn her keep.
I took the forms, had a look at the whole human race waiting on the chairs, and decided that in no way would they serve all of us on that day. So I took the forms home for completion - and assistance by my wife in view of the fact that I apparently cannot complete forms without being inspected. If my wife checked it first, it meant that she would be blamed if the forms did not pass Hidden Bosom.
That was day one.
* Don’t laugh, there were five days and they will be reported on in five daily posts this week.